(above) My roommate, Sezen, and I at The Viper Room seeing Some Hear Explosions perform live!

I know I haven't been writing much lately. Honestly, I think it's because I've been writing updates to all of the people who get my "Adventures in L.A." Facebook messages... it's my way of letting people in on what's happening out in L.A. without having to write the same thing over and over again to tons of people. There's 158 members in that group that I send out my periodic updates to... I'm pretty surprised that there are 158 people in my life who really want to read about some girl's 3-month experience living in Los Angeles, doing an internship at Filter Magazine. I like to think of it as a compliment... that I'm decent at writing, have semi-interesting things going on in my life, and that people like me haha. For being a people-pleaser, it's a great boost in my confidence.

I am leaving Los Angeles in only 2-3 weeks (depending on when I book a flight or decide to roadtrip it back home). I'm very sad about leaving. I'm not in a "I'm going to cry" sort of emotional state with the whole thing.... it's more of a bittersweet, "I hope to return soon", type of feeling. I've started some great friendships here, but haven't really had long enough to fully cultivate them and experience the deep, meaningful side of them. They've remained fairly surface level, which in itself has still been a huge encouragement in a big, new city. The people I met at church are awesome... I love seeing them every week, I love that we get lunch together each week, and I love that we just have fun and laugh and hang out. I definetely wanted more.... wanted to see them not just on Sundays, but at a coffee shop, or a local show, or at a house-warming party. But, that just wasn't possible since I don't have a vehicle and don't live near any of them. Oh well. If I return to L.A. later this year, I hope to live in Pasadena which is much closer to all of those people and is also in a very beautiful location (surrounded by mountains and hills). Even if I don't return, and I never see them again, I am glad that God brought them into this season of my life and blessed me with their joy, company, and Christian fellowship.

There are a few people back home I can't wait to see. Just thinking about getting to see them makes me so happy and excited to go home! Specifically, I'm so looking forward to having a girl's night with Bree Tsuleff, visiting Valerie Prescott at TU, random doses of fun with Jonathan Goble, catching up with Amy Laur, playing volleyball with the Brookside crew, and of course my niece Nora (almost 16 months) and nephew Owen (2 years old). There are others too.... so if I didn't name you, don't freak out. Those are just people have lately been very influencial in my life and/or who I spent a lot of time with before coming out to California.

Although I'm sure I have more to say that's on my mind, I'm the urge to curl up, watch a movie, and enjoy the first day I haven't felt extremely sick in almost a week!

Aufwiedersehn!

Hope

Some lyrics I whipped up this morning. Excuse the lack of refinement.

Hope
© 2010 Megan Sauder

Let it be
The first tear upon your cheek
The last worry upon your brow
The first sigh of deep relief
When the fear is gone for now

Can you see
A ray of hope in the distance
A bright star’s entrancing light
A shimmer of greatest joy
When there’s no need for might

What became of
Peace when the road is rocky
Faith when there seems to be no end
Love to the broken hearted
When there’s hope to be giv’n

I know now that
This isn’t the only thing in life
The world is hurting all around
Will you join me in surrendering
Pick up the pieces from the ground
Yes I know this isn’t the only thing in life
There is hope to be found

Accordion Delight

Ever since I started playing the accordion back in the days living on Martha's Vineyard, I have gotten strange looks. For those of you who could die happy if you never heard the accordion again, this list is for you. For those of you who appreciate the uniqueness of the instrument and are looking for more songs to enjoy, this list is for you. For those of you looking to be swayed, this list is for you. I have scoured my own music library for 20 of the best songs I could find that use the accordion. I think I did a good job of appealing to a wide variety of genres and uses of the accordion.


TOP 20 Accordion Songs....
(from my library, not necessarily of all time)
....here goes:

1. Tom Waits – “Cold, Cold Ground”
2. Beirut – “Mount Wroclai (Idle Days)”
3. Patty Griffin – “Chief”
4. Sigur Ros – “Við Spilum Endalaust”
5. Billy Joel – “Piano Man”
6. Silversun Pickups – “Lazy Eye (Jimmy Tamborello Accordion Mix)
7. Anathallo – “Yuki! Yuki! Yuki!”
8. Sufjan Stevens – “Decatur, Or, Round of Applause for Your Stepmother!”
9. Wilco – “Why Would You Wanna Live”
10. Andrew Bird – “Armchairs”
11. The Decemberists – “Annan Water”
12. The New Pornographers – “Go Places”
13. Paper Route – “Be Healed”
14. Iron & Wine – “Flightless Bird, American Mouth”
15. Loudon Wainwright – “Passion Play”
16. Mumford & Sons – “Winter Winds”
17. Jars of Clay – “Goodbye, Goodnight”
18. Kate Rusby – “Awkward Annie”
19. Argyle Johansen – “Candlestick”
20. Augustana – “Sunday Best”

Happy listening!

Embark.

About a month ago I went to Target with my dear friend Valerie. First let me say that it is NEVER a good idea for me to go into Target without a reason. I didn't really need to go... it was just a spur of the moment, fun place to go while I was visiting Val. I realized I would like to have a new water bottle. Not sure why, really. I have 2 or 3. But, that's what I deemed necessary. So I was browsing the sports aisles with all the water bottles when I found a shiny silver bottle, tall and skinny, with only the word "embark" on the side in black lettering. I'm so glad I bought that water bottle. Whenever I look at it I can't help but feel challenged and inspired to do something new and exciting. Little did I know that opportunity was just around the corner...

Just over a week ago I received an e-mail from an internship program I had applied for back in August '09 and had decided not to do it. I had applied to do an internship in the music industry either in L.A. or London. I was leaning more towards London, because I love travel, love learning about cultures... and it would for sure be a life experience I would never forget. However, this e-mail I received was asking me if I would like to join their spring internship program in L.A which started only 4 days after I received the e-mail (which was on Wednesday, January 27th).... and they were offering me a $2,500 grant to help offset the cost of tuition (which covers my apartment rent & their services as an internship placement agency). They gave me 24 hours to make my decision.

Now, for those of you who don't know me very well... I don't like to make spur of the moment decisions that will cost me thousands of dollars and force me to move thousands of miles away from family & friends. My immediate reaction was panic. Looking back it's actually quite humorous how worked up I got about making such a big decision. Yes, it was big... but deciding to do this opportunity would mean pursuing my dreams of building a career around music! All of my friends thought it was obvious... just do it! I, on the other hand, was a bit more emotional and unsure of it.

24 hours later, after a lot of prayer, crying, and questioning... I decided to take a leap of faith and trust God to show me how He can use me out in L.A.

So that brings me to today.

I will be leaving on a 3:24 pm flight out of Fort Wayne, IN tomorrow afternoon (Sunday, February 7th) and will be arriving in Los Angeles, CA at 7:40 pm, where I will start my new adventure!

I have been hired as an (unpaid) intern at Filter Music Magazine... you can find this magazine at Borders, Barnes & Noble, and Urban Outfitters. I would encourage you to pick up a copy and browse through it to see what kind of a company I will be working for! I am going to be in the marketing department and be practicing a lot of grassroots (guerilla) marketing tactics. This includes going to venues & putting up posters, leaving postcards/stickers on the bar counter, and striking up conversations with people... or visiting cafe's, boutiques, coffee shops, and other artsy locations around L.A. I will for sure be taken outside of my comfort zone... but I am looking forward to all that I will learn and experience! I am going to be working at the magazine Mondays through Thursdays, from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. I know, I know... that seems like hardly any hours! Well, apparently it is VERY hard to get more hours than that at an internship in the music industry in L.A..... at least in a marketing department! So, with my free time I am going to work on my photography, visit friends, read books, visit museums, explore the city, and maybe even get a part-time job somewhere to help with the cost of living out there!

I am starting a group on Facebook for anyone who might want to receive my FB updates I will be sending out.... the group is called "My adventures in L.A.!", and I invite you all to join it and read more about my time spent in California. :) Also, there is an open invitation for anyone who might want to come visit while I am there.

With that said, it's time I get back to packing and closing out some final details before I step onto the plane tomorrow. I'll leave you with the word that started it all:

Embark.

It's a Thursday

Literally the only reason I am sitting down to write this is 1.) I have the time and 2.) I feel somewhat guilty for having not written in 2 weeks.

You know those moments in life when you finally break after trying to pretend like everything is ok?

I've been pretending like things are ok now for a few months, in one particular area of my life. And it's funny how since this one area of my life suddenly collapsed, the other areas of my life seem to have gotten dragged down with it. I've started to really question what God is doing with me right now. I'm living at home, working 2 part-time jobs, haven't had many opportunities to do music outside of leading worship, and I feel very alone. They always say that you can be in a crowd of people and still feel utterly alone. Well, I would have to argue that it can be much worse to be surrounded by no people, and literally be alone.

Don't get me wrong... I am blessed in many ways. I have a job... 2, in fact. I'm saving money by living at home. I'm learning new things.

But whatever used to make me feel alive has left for a while. I've suddenly felt boring... unattractive... creatively stagnant... spiritually complacent... unhealthy... short-tempered... tired... sad... discontented... and stuck.

I cling to verses about hope during these times.... Romans 5:3-5 comes to mind - a verse I have hanging right above my bed. "Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us."

I know this will pass... but today, I have too much time to think about it.

I guess that's what happens when it's a Thursday.

Fantasy Football Champion!

Because I don't think people will believe me unless I post this:

FANTASY CHAMPION:

Megan, Congrats are in order for our new fantasy champion, Team Megan (Megan Sauder, for those thrown off by her team name). She succeeded in a little used strategy in fantasy football: do as little as possible and still demolish everyone. In all seriousness though, this points to her ability to draft well, and she did make some key switches in the middle of the season. For her efforts, she will be awarded a prize soon.

Congrats to Team CG for a great run as well, including defeating the very tough Team Micah in the playoffs. Fittingly, the only 2 teams to defeat Micah were the 2 teams that met in the championship game, Megan & CG.

Also, Team CG ended the season with the highest coaching rating, so Dave Affholter will receive an award as well. Both Megan's & Dave's awards will be listed once they have been attained.

Thanks to all owners for playing this year. This was the most exciting fantasy year to date, as all teams could have made the playoffs the last regular season game. That is unprecedented. Your support for our league is appreciated greatly and helps it to continue. We hope all of you will play with us again next year.

Have a great offseason and...

Go Colts!

Josh
Ben
Commissioners

Good for the Soul

The great thing about Christmas is that, despite the chaos the holiday brings, you get to spend time with friends and family that you may not get to see very often.

This year's Christmas has been different than the usual... we didn't have any celebrations on Christmas Day, and instead I spent most of my day working on planning the worship service for the upcoming Sunday. That evening we traveled out to Ohio for Christmas on the 26th with my mom's side of the family. It was good, and I got a few gifts I actually asked for (which almost never happens haha). I couldn't help but laugh when my grandma got literally every girl in the family the same sweater (aunts, cousins, grandchildren, etc.) and all of the guys in the family the same sweater..... I only wish we had been able to get a group picture of us ALL matching. :)

I was back at home Saturday evening and immediately went to the church to finish up planning the worship. Sunday morning came and worship went well, and the message Jonathan (our youth pastor) preached was really good. He talked about the geneology of Christ (Matthew 1:1-17) and how it included every kind of person... kings, sinners, ordinary people, and people we know nothing about... and it was a challenge to us to realize that no matter what our status in life, God wants to use us for the greater purpose of his plan. It reminded me that wherever I end up using my music (small town church or packed out stadium), God will use me. It also challenged me to make sure I am making myself available to God for Him to use me... which can be really hard to do!

Church was followed by an awesome time having lunch at Applebee's with the other young adults from church, then a "Christmas" party with my closest friends from high school where we got to catch up with each other and hear how God is working in all of our lives. After I left the party, I went to my grandma's house to celebrate Christmas on my dad's side.... however, it was cut short when I suddenly got a really bad migraine and had to go home and lie in the dark for 3 hours! It was so disappointing missing out on the entire evening with family, but I am finally starting to feel a little better after a night of sleep and taking it easy. I might even go to work this afternoon!

In case you are wondering, the scripture passages I shared with my friends that have been playing a big part in my life right now are:

1 Peter 4:10
Psalm 37:5-6
Ecclesiastes 3:11-14

Until next time...